Ways To Catch Up to Our Youth: Books and Wisdom Hold SO Much Power
Written by Carron Montgomery, LPC, RPT
As a mental health clinician, I am witnessing a genuine openness regarding mental health and an authentic sense of caring and connection from our youth. Ironically, they are teaching us what being attuned and having balance can look like. They know when their friends are in need and know that working twenty four hours a day is not living!!
They seem to have what I try to live by and teach my children about the importance of how to start a conversation—know your audience. Awareness and perspective are key and require reflection and attention. True power comes from being humble and kind. If you are approachable and open, people are more likely to show you what is on the inside. As an adult, it is important to be aware that a natural power differential exists and can be overwhelming and intimidating. Overly identifying with your role of authority, is a sure fire way to shut down the audience you are trying to reach. All humans want to feel heard, even if you don’t agree with them. The importance of validating and sitting with this age group can not be emphasized enough. This age group is desperate for adults who will just listen, truly listen. When we take the time to sit and wait, we invite a conversation. Lecturing, passing judgment, and assuming result in a message lost on deaf ears.
This way of being has gifted me the opportunity to be a vessel for change and a voice and storyteller for our youth. I learn more in my sessions, than I do in large books. I will never stop seeing clients in person, as my knowledge would eventually become dated. I would no longer have the stories to tell or the data to tell these meaningful stories with. Adolescence marks a period, filled with tremendous changes, particularly as it relates to relationships. During this developmental time period, teens begin to move away from even trusted adults and the sources of wisdom they seek change dramatically. It is also important to note that the majority of the information they see isn’t “real”. Sadly, we have also lost the time for connection with adults due to stress, a lack of community, mistrust, and a world full of constant changes and uncertainty. Simple nuggets of real life wisdom are not being shared to counterbalance the negative impact of social media. As a result, our youth need us now more than ever! Making time for creating together and just being, invites opportunities for meaningful connections. Art allows people to feel safer expressing themselves and the act of creating not only helps release the feel good hormone—oxytocin, but it also helps the body stay regulated. Rhythmic movements help regulate our nervous system and that is the nature of art!! This built in regulator allows people to process and tolerate distress for longer periods of time.
The good news is our brains never stop changing and we can always catch up. As a community, we need to not only educate teachers, but also parents. Our generation was not taught about the amazing purpose that feelings can serve and how they can help us get our needs met. The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse, Finding Muchness, The Candy Dish, and Tiny Panda Little Dragon are all amazing places to start. A page a day can help bring this wisdom back and is a non intimidating way for teachers, parents and kids to connect. Art works much in the same way and is an invaluable tool for self-discovery and a safe way to express yourself to adults that can show them your world. Andrew Newman has also created an incredible series of books that provide an approachable, fun, empowering and educational way to connect with your children, while also learning about emotions. These books can help equip both kids and adults with the words and knowledge to speak the same language. All of his books are phenomenal! The Little Brain People, The Hug who Got Stuck, and We are Circle People, are just a few of my favorites and can truly be used for any age.
